What Makes a Great Youth Ministry Small Group?

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I’ve been thinking through how to define a Small Group in our youth ministry in a clear, straightforward way.  Just hang-out time? Formalized spiritual direction? As happens fairly often, I tend to take some things for granted and frequently need to get back to defining basics both for myself and leaders. For sure, Small Groups can be whatever they need to be in some sense as long as the focus is on relationships and growing closer to Jesus. Other details depend on context. Where your kids are spiritually will determine your content – where your kids are emotionally and socially will determine your method. That is, 9th grade guys and 12th grade girls may be looking at the same scripture but in vastly different ways and with different eyes. How do you adjust? Do you have a predetermined curriculum or not? Does it follow your weekend worship service teaching or a preselected DVD or book? When and where do Small Groups meet? All up for grabs. But I’m currently leaning towards the following definition that can apply across contexts:

1. Experiencing authentic community – Doing life together (Acts 2:42-47 comes to mind)
2. Encountering and interacting with God’s Word (II Tim 3:16 & Josh 1:8 come to mind)
3. Praying with and for each other (modeling how to communicate with Christ and caring for each other) (John 15:7 & Philippians 4:6-7 come to mind).

For us, I think that whatever our Small Groups meetings look like, it should reflect these values. Students obviously need time to play, hang-out, eat – I’m not suggesting we abandon these necessities and go for the full Monastic vibe – just that we should be looking through the lens of these values every time we get together. If ALL we do is play, hang-out, and eat then something’s wrong.  If your students are having a difficult time settling in and looking at scripture together when the time comes for your formal Small Group meeting time then it may point towards the need for more hang-time throughout the week. Small Groups happen all week long as we pursue relationships with kids where they’re at, not just when they show up to a program or meeting time.

We’ve heard before that “Life change happens best in the context of Small Groups” and we’ve experienced the truth of this in our own Small Groups throughout our Christian journeys. A familiar (possibly over-simplified) measure of life change might be “Change in the way that people view and spend their ‘time,’ ‘treasure,’ and ‘talents.'” That could be an entirely different, possibly endless conversation but we have a sense of what we’re trying to get at with life change and Small Groups. Moreover, it seems that Jesus employed something of a Small Group strategy in his own ministry as he stayed up all night praying before calling a small batch of young men to join him in his travels and ministry (Mark 3:13-14). It seemed that throughout the disciples time spent with Jesus that they experienced 1. Authentic community, 2. A safe place to learn and wrestle with doubt, 3. Accountability, and 4. Modeling on what intimacy with the Father could look like. It reminds me of “Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn (Benjamin Franklin).

As a Small Group leader over the years, I’ve been challenged constantly to press closer to Jesus and be in God’s word myself as I seek to lead students and volunteers along the same path. After all, we can’t take leaders or students beyond where we’ve been ourselves and our Small Group will only go as deep as we are. A.W. Tozer said in The Pursuit of God, “No person has any moral right to go before the people who have not first been long before the Lord.  No person has any right to speak to people about God who has not first spoken to God about people.  And the prophet of God should spend more time in the secret place praying than they spend in the public place preaching.” May we be reminded that the gift and calling of leadership is a high one and to be taken very seriously and with a great deal of joy and fun!

I would love to hear what defines your Small Groups ministry and how you communicate this vision to your leaders and students.

Sharing a Note: 10 Spiritual Goals for a Breakthrough Semester

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For a number of years, I had this list posted on my office wall as a great reminder of the basics in youth ministry. It’s not an original list, I didn’t write it – it was on a card that I received from a youth ministry resource group and for the life of me I can’t seem to find the original card. Lost in our move from Newport Beach to Menlo Park last fall, I suspect. I had copied it into notes to share with staff a while back and recently found the notes, but no card. So if you recognize this list and know where it comes from, please let me know – I’d like to give credit where credit is due but for now I can only say this comes from someone else whose wisdom I admire.  I fail often on keeping every goal but nevertheless I find it challenging and inspiring to review often. Suffice it to say, it’s a great list and I thought very worthy of sharing.

10 Spiritual Goals for a Breakthrough Semester:

1. Make your personal relationship with Christ a priority (I Cor. 1:10, 2 Pet. 3:18)
2. Pray for every kid you know everyday (Matt. 6:6, Acts 2:42, I Thess. 5:17)
3. See the best, even when a kid is at their worst (Rom. 5:8, Luke 15:11-31)
4. Become a partner with a kid’s parents (Rom. 12:10, James 4:11)
5. Never, never give up on “fringe” kids (2 Pet. 3:9, John 21:15-19)
6. Keep planting.  Sometimes fruit takes months or years (I Cor. 3:6, Gal. 6:9)
7. Don’t just teach kids about Jesus, equip them for Kingdom service (2 Tim. 3:16-18, Eph. 4:11-13)
8. Require kids who are following Jesus (and yourself, and leaders) to be in the Word daily (Psalm 119:9-11, Heb. 4:12)
9. Keep seeking, keep serving (Matt. 7:7, Luke 19:10, Mark 10:45)
10. Review this list at least once a week!